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A wry grin quirked his mouth as pleasant memories tumbled past his searching gaze.He shook his head, amazed at how Melissa had leapt so wholeheartedly into this world and her role. She was an astonishing woman. He took a deep breath to still himself, closing his eyes to focus inwards on his feelings. He knew it was very early in their relationship and that the raging endorphins of infatuation were shaping both of their reactions, but he felt a deeper longing in his soul, which frightened him.He knew his track record with long-term relationships was not good. As honest as he tried to force himself to be in his personal relationships, he recognized that deeper levels of intimacy and trust still terrified him. He pulled away, distracted himself with work, or just plain shut down.Taking another deep breath, a grim sadness stole across his face as he let himself feel how unfair it would be to Melissa to treat her the same way.She hadn’t pushed on him for more. She didn’t seem to be needy. My mother and Mrs. Johnson had decided to get away for a weekend andmom wanted me to stay with an aunt. I was able to convince her that Icould manage on my own. But it had come with a steep price. Amandawould have to check up on me. I protested but it was either that orAunt Lisa. I chose Amanda. At least she wouldn't be here all the timewas my thinking. They were leaving on a Thursday and would be back onMonday. I was left with enough food and soda for the weekend and momhad gotten me a cash card for some extras. The two ladies readied totake off and I was given a few instructions from mom. Mrs. Johnson saidAmanda would call soon after they left. I shook my head and wondered ifmy mom knew what I had planned for the time that she'd be gone. As theyloaded the last of the bags, my mom kissed me and softly said she lovedme. I told her I loved her too. She also whispered, "Don't over do yourlittle hobby". I looked at her and she winked and kissed my cheek. Notanother word was said as they.
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